Light Up My Life Read online

  I thought I might, but I wasn’t sure I was ready. But then again… there was only one way to figure this out.

  I pulled Lance’s number up in my phone and I stared at it. What should I do?

  Chapter Five

  Lance

  I threw a left, right, and then a kick from the side before I lunged back away from the heavy bag, expecting retaliation. I bobbed and weaved, then I dropped down to do a perfect sprawl before I jumped back into the fight against my imaginary opponent. Next, I went ahead and threw another kick /punch combo to the upper and lower body on the bag.

  The bag flung high, almost hitting the wall as I drove through with that last big, powerful kick. I was impressed with that one. It had been a long time since I’d made the bag move so easily. My kicks were getting crazy strong. That must have been from all the extra squats I’d been doing lately. I felt like a machine. I was tempted to go back to amateur fighting. I used to love it, but I had to be careful. If I had the wrong type of injury- which would eventually happen to any fighter- then I would be put out of the firefighting game for a while. Minor injuries were common in the training we did as firefighters, but anything big and it would cost me time at work. I couldn’t risk that. I loved it too much.

  I took off my boxing gloves and grabbed my gallon of water and took a long swig on the water. I was dying of thirst it seemed like and the sweat was pouring off of me. I had the heat cranked in the room. I did that a lot of times when I worked out at home. It was a good way to fuel the body’s furnace and to keep it as hot as I could. It helped to create a higher burn to the metabolism.

  As I finished drinking my water, my phone rang. I groaned. It was my mother. She typically only called me anymore, when she had bad news. I did not need to deal with this, but she’d called me three times since yesterday morning, so I figured I should finally see what was up.

  “Hello, mom,” I said to her as I answered.

  “Hey, honey,” she replied. “It’s great to hear from you, too.”

  I detected a bit of sarcasm in her voice. Yep, same old mom. “What’s up? What’s the old man doing now?”

  “Oh, wouldn’t you like to know?” she asked with a giggle in her voice.

  “Mom, what do you want? I’m kind of busy.” I was getting disgusted. My mother and father did not get along with each other and neither had ever really gotten along with me. I loved my mother, but I could hardly stand her. All she did was point out other people’s shortcomings, the wives and mistresses’ of my fathers peers, most of the time. And that was about all my father did as well, but the judgement was reserved mostly for me. With that, they should have been as happy as pigs in shit, but surprisingly they did the same crap to each other and that precipitated argument after argument.

  I hated knowing that about them. Everyone else thought they were this elegant, perfect couple. But no one knew the darkness behind their marriage. It was a façade. In fact, it was a pretty good ruse. But that’s all it was. And it was so difficult growing up living fake like that.

  “Well, I just thought I would remind you that your father wants to have dinner with you this week sometime. What works for your schedule?”

  Shit. I hated this. About once every three months or so my father decided we needed to have some “bonding time” and demanded that I have dinner with him. The only reason I went, was so that he wouldn’t disinherit me. I hated being at the mercy of his money, but with the amount of money I stood to inherit, I would have been stupid to turn it down. Then again, I did have my pride. And a part of me felt that dealing with the two of them, practically babysitting them at times when I was growing up, meant I had damn well earned a bunch of that money. It was my birthright and I would not be denied it.

  But my father was really starting to push me on that. What the hell? I would have to meet with him. “I guess Thursday will be fine.”

  “Ok, I’ll tell him that, dear,” she said. “I do know that he has something very important to discuss with you. So, you’d better be prepared to actually have a real conversation with him this time.”

  “As opposed to what? We always talk when we get together,” I reminded her.

  “Your father isn’t dumb. He didn’t build an empire of wealth by being stupid.”

  “Ok,” I said. “I’ll see him then. Text me the restaurant.”

  I hung up the phone and slipped my gloves back on. Something about talking to my mother really made me so angry that I felt like pummeling something. I got into position and I started to throw sharp hooks, and jabs, followed by some hard kicks. I kept imagining my dad’s head was right in front of those blows. My anger had been pent up inside of me for so long it was enough to make me certifiably insane.

  I finished the flurry of hard blows into the heavy bag and then rested grabbing my water jug again. I kept thinking about the girl from the softball field. Kat… I wondered if that was short for Katrina or Katherine? She was so intriguing that almost every thought I had was about her since I’d met her.

  She wasn’t going to call. That much was obvious, so that meant I might have to do a bit of detective work to track her down. I had to do that without appearing as if I was some kind of weirdo. I supposed I could set up something so that I accidentally ran into her somewhere, but she would be suspicious.

  Plus, she’d probably asked around about me, if she was really interested, and no doubt heard of the rumors of my reputation. I wasn’t that guy anymore.

  That was scary to me. I knew I didn’t want to get married, and I wasn’t sure if I ever wanted to have a relationship, but lately I’d been missing that warmth and connection in my life. I was changing.

  It was scary, especially because I had never thought this way before, but maybe it was time for something different.

  I sighed as I remembered I would soon have to interact with my father. He’d never understood me and I had a feeling that I was not going to enjoy this meeting one little bit…

  Chapter Six

  Kat

  Why did I keep letting them drag me here?

  I took a sip of my beer and glanced around the club. The music was so loud I could hardly hear myself think. The place smelled stale and stuffy for some reason, as if it had been closed for renovations, and I was exhausted. I’d had a really good day at work. That bitch Jenna had barely gotten under my skin, I hadn’t let any of the customers aggravate me, and I’d done well in tips. Of course, Jenna took half of that, but it was still decent. I was now blowing all that money on overpriced drinks and an annoying atmosphere. But, I was out with my friends, and they were hell bent on partying it up. I sometimes wondered if they went out so much just to get away from their significant others.

  I was so damn tired. Getting back into fighting shape was not as easy as I thought it was going to be. My body wasn’t quite used to moving that way anymore and some of the muscles that used to be very tight and strong, were now jelly-filled and listless. It would take some time, but I knew that soon I would be right back where I needed to be.

  I was going to teach my first class tomorrow night. I was a bit nervous, scared even, but I knew that it was a step towards the mentality of where I needed to go with my life. It was a passion, part of a lifestyle that I had let crumble under the weight of grief. My parents would not have wanted me to suffer that way.

  “Are you going to frown all night again?” Kayley asked me, nudging my arm. “There is a bevy of super-hot guys all over the place. I’ve seen several throwing glances at you.”

  “And yet I’ve found the will to resist,” I teased. “Kayley give it up. I’m focused on other things right now. There is a lot more to life than finding the right guy. It’s like a sick obsession with you. Let it go.”

  I was getting a bit testy, but I was sick of people meddling in my personal life. I was focused.

  “That’s my point, exactly,” Kayley said. “You are just drifting aimlessly through life. That’s not healthy. I think it would be good for you to hang out with a guy. Tha
t’s all. I just really care. I can see you aren’t happy. Getting out there is the first step. That’s why I keep dragging your ass to the club every other night.”

  “It’s annoying,” I said.

  “Well, this might cheer you up,” Susie chimed in. She had that goofy grin on her face from too many long island iced teas, and the fact that she might know some secret that nobody else did. She was a good friend, but sometimes she could be a bit much.

  “What’s that?” I asked.

  “Lance Dows just walked into the club over there,” Susie said.

  My mind instantly perked up at the mention of his name. I wasn’t sure why, but it sounded like music to my ears. I’d been thinking about him off and on since we met the other night. He was cute, sexy, and intriguing. It was the one thorn in my side that reminded me that in some very real way, Kayley might actually be right about something. I was lonely. But I didn’t feel like I needed to fix that right now. until I was in a better place in my own life.

  I could tell I’d just jerked slightly at the mention of Lance’s name. I still had to play off that I was standing behind my previous rant. I meant every word of it, except where this guy was concerned.

  I shrugged and went back to my drink. Susie seemed surprised. “Oh, don’t even pretend you don’t care. I saw the way you were checking him out the other night. After I told you who he was, I’ll bet you spent the evening looking him up on the internet.”

  I laughed. She knew me too well, but I could never admit this to her. “I did no such thing,” I scoffed.

  “Who’s that?” Kayley asked. I hadn’t really told her anything about this.

  “Oh, our dear friend Kat here, met this great guy playing softball with us. She was standoffish with him, but there was definitely something going on. It’s Lance Dows. His father is richer than anybody. She would be a fool not to give this guy a chance. He was obviously interested.”

  Kayley looked at me like I was crazy. “What the hell?” She was now checking out where Susie was pointing.

  I followed her finger to where Lance was sauntering up to the bar to order a drink. He looked damn good, wearing a nice button up dark shirt, opened only halfway to show off his chest a bit, he was freshly shaved, and he was wearing nice pair of designer jeans that clung tightly to his ass.

  I couldn’t stop staring, and I felt myself starting to bite my lip. Fuck, he was hot. I wanted a big piece of him. But I wasn’t sure he was the right type of guy. Susie was right. I had spent a good part of the evening checking him out online and I’d discovered he did have a sordid past. This should have turned me off, and it did to a certain extent, but it also made me crazy as well. I couldn’t help but feel tremendously attracted to this man.

  I was afraid to get close to him or open myself up. If I did, then I might find myself in a relationship, which was the last place I wanted to be right now. Things were looking up already, based on the changes I was making, and I was afraid that this would take away from that. But what if I was wrong?

  “Wow, that’s impressive,” Kayley said. “Did he ask you out?”

  “Yes,” I replied. “Sort of. He gave me his number.”

  “And you aren’t going to call him?”

  “Nope.”

  “Why the hell not? At least see what he’s about. You have nothing to lose by trying.”

  I sighed. “I’m sure I don’t. But it’s my business. Can you guys worry about your own love lives and leave mine alone? Seriously. I didn’t come out here tonight to talk about this or meet any men.”

  Susie and Kayley collectively rolled their eyes. It was almost like they were trying to vicariously live through me. Kayley had a boyfriend that was off and on. Susie kind of did, too, except it seemed to be a different guy every two months. They were great women, but I had a feeling they expected life to be as exciting as a romance novel and when it wasn’t, they dumped who they were with and moved on. I figured they’d both end up alone with a house full of cats one day.

  “You might want to rethink the way you want this evening to go,” Susie said.

  “Why is that?” I asked.

  “Because Lance is coming over here,” she said.

  I jerked my head instinctively, and I found myself staring right into the face of Lance Dows as he approached. He was standing over me now with that cocky, but sexy grin that drove me wild. It was all I could do to not stand up and start ripping his clothes off. He was delicious.

  Come on Kat, play it cool.

  “Hey, there,” Lance said.

  “Hey,” I replied.

  “I didn’t think I would run into you here,” he said.

  “I didn’t anticipate running into you ever,” I replied with just enough attitude that it came off cute, but not totally bitchy.

  He smiled easily. “Well, that’s not very nice, but ok. You must have accidentally lost my number.”

  “No,” I said. “I think I’ve still got it. I just haven’t thought about using it.”

  He laughed and kept solid eye contact with me. Wow, nothing was fazing this guy. He didn’t care at all what I thought of him. He was not going to be deterred, interesting. His confidence was a huge turn on. I wanted him more than ever. I could feel my body getting warmer with each breath I drew. I was starting to flirt a bit and I wasn’t sure I could control it. I needed to hold it back right now. My girls were looking on with amused expressions.

  “Ah, ok,” Lance said. “You must have been busy.”

  “Yeah,” I replied. This was actually kind of true.

  “Well, aren’t you going to introduce me to your friends?”

  “Sure,” I replied. “This is Susie, Kayley, and Janice. Everybody, this is Lance.”

  He shook hands as he made the rounds with them. All three were giving him the eye, and Susie was even leaning forward to show some cleavage, just because she could. It was her best weapon and she actually played a game to see how many guys she could get to stare at them in one night. Her record was twenty-four. I watched Lance’s gaze and he didn’t even acknowledge her chest. Interesting…

  “We’ve actually met, sort of,” Susie said. “I’m on the softball team that played you the other night.”

  “Ah, ok.” Lance really seemed to care.

  “So, Lance what do you do?” Kayley asked.

  “I’m a firefighter,” he replied.

  This surprised me. I didn’t expect him to say that. It wasn’t something I’d discovered online when I went to search him. His social media accounts were all set to private. What was a guy who had as much money as he did, doing as a fireman? This was intriguing as hell.

  “Wow, interesting,” Kayley replied. “How long have you been doing that?”

  “A few years, actually,” he replied. “I love it.”

  “Do you have a calendar?” Susie asked with a giggle in her voice. Yeah, she needed to switch to water for the rest of the evening.

  Lance laughed. “No. I don’t. We haven’t been asked yet.”

  “Oh, well. I’m a photographer,” Kayley said. “I could definitely get something like that together for you. There is always room in the market for some hunky fireman calendars.”

  “I agree!” Susie cheered.

  Lance smiled. “I’ll run it by some of the guys, but don’t get your hopes up. Most of them are pretty private.”

  Kayley and Susie both seemed disappointed. This was funny. And it was getting uncomfortable. Lance must have sensed it.

  “Well, I’m going to get another drink,” Lance said. “Kat, would you like to join me? You look like you could use a refill.”

  Susie and Kayley were smiling and nodding at me.

  I felt like stretching my legs and I was tired of the awkward conversation happening right in front of me, so I agreed. “Sure, let’s go.”

  We made our way closer to the bar. There was a huge line, so we waited together. “Your friends seem nice,” Lance said.

  “Yeah, they are. But they are a bit crazy,” I
replied.

  “I’ve got some friends like that, too,” Lance said. “I can relate.”

  There were a few moments of silence between us as we stood there. I wasn’t sure if it was awkward for both of us, or just me? It was strange, but I felt like we were comfortable enough around each other that the silence didn’t have to be awkward. That was a vibe that Lance put off. He could be present with people and there was no awkwardness at all. I admired that.

  “So, you should probably go ahead and ask,” Lance said.

  His question interrupted my thoughts. “I should ask what?”

  “You should ask why I fight fires when my father is one of the richest guys in the country. I should be set, right?”

  Wow, he was good. How did he know I was thinking that? I had to play it off.

  “I’m not sure what you’re talking about,” I said.

  He smiled. “Sure, you are. I’m sure you did some digging about me. I’m used to it, so don’t feel embarrassed.”

  Shit. He had me. I had to come clean. I smiled and chuckled. “Maybe, I did.”

  “Well, then don’t you want an answer?”

  “It’s up to you,” I replied.

  “Well, I do it because it makes me happy. It’s all I’ve ever wanted to do, and I love it. I don’t think I’d ever be happy doing anything else.”

  “Really?” I asked. “That’s interesting. I didn’t peg you for an adrenaline junkie.”

  “Thanks,” he said. “When did you see your first baseball game?”

  “What?” I asked. This guy was full of random things.

  “Your first game? I can tell you are a huge fan of the game just by watching you play. A natural athlete has that love of the game built into them from an early age.”

  “That’s true. My dad took me to a Reds game when I was six. We got seats right behind home plate. I watched those fastballs coming right down the middle all afternoon and smack into the glove. It was something that really got into me then. I knew that I was always going to love the game.”