Light Up My Life Read online

  I got showered up and dressed to go meet my father. We were having dinner at a place named Austin’s. It was one of my father’s favorite upscale restaurants. He practically owned the place he ate their so much.

  When I arrived, he was already waiting for me. I was so not looking forward to this. Maybe I would get good and drunk and order a ride home. That might be the only way I would make it through another evening with this man.

  My father looked up at me sternly when I walked in. He made no gestures to stand, shake my hand, or give me a hug. It was more of a gruff “Hello, son”.

  “Hey, dad,” I said sitting down. “How’s it going?”

  “As good as can be expected,” he said. “Want a drink?”

  “Sure,” I replied.

  He gestured for the waiter who came over promptly as if waiting for my father specifically to summon him. “Yes, sir?” The waiter asked. His British accent sounded fake.

  “Yes, bring us two whiskeys. Make them doubles.”

  “Right away, sir.”

  I waited a few moments without saying anything. Finally, my father spoke. “So how are things with you? We hardly ever hear from you.”

  “Yeah, things are good, just busy.”

  “You still saving the world?”

  “I’m a firefighter. Yes. I do sometimes save lives. That’s part of the job. But I’m not saving the whole world by myself. That’s Superman’s job.”

  My father laughed quietly. “I don’t see why you have chosen that path.”

  I sighed. “Dad, we’ve been over this and over this.”

  “Yeah, and you still haven’t come to your senses.”

  “Just because you don’t agree with it, that doesn’t mean I should care.”

  He groaned. “You don’t care at all what your own family thinks of you? Do you know what the Kellers’ kids are doing? They are working for their family’s business, making a lot of money, doing something important in the world of business and helping the economy. They aren’t off on some idealist kick where they think they are above everyone else because they have a so-called “normal job.”

  “I don’t think I’m above anyone else. That’s your problem.”

  “Why? Because I’m proud of being successful.”

  “Success doesn’t always mean money.”

  He laughed. “Yeah, that’s what poor people tell themselves.”

  “Look, what was it that was so important you had to see me?” I asked. I was growing annoyed and impatient. My father was already pulling at the same thread he always did. It was painful to sit through. Every time we got together, he instantly started talking about where I was going wrong in life and how much better his friends’ kids were than me and what I should be doing with my life. I was so over it. I was tired of hearing it. I wanted to just live my life and be free from him. But I knew that would never happen, unless I disinherited myself from the family fortune. That sounded like a stupid idea.

  But I had no idea that decision was about to be made for me.

  “I was going to wait until after dinner,” my father said. “But since you’ve got ants in your pants, I’ll come right out with it.”

  “Ok…”

  “I’m writing you out of the will,” he said.

  I let the words hang in the air for a moment. They circled around my head and poked at the base of my brain. I felt the air being sucked out of my lungs. Was this really happening ? This couldn’t be real.

  Yet, I knew it was. In fact, I really felt that this was because I had foreseen it. That was why I had been so reluctant this time to even take this dinner with my father. As soon as my mother told me that he had something very important to discuss with me, I knew. That bastard was really going to do it. He was going to disinherit me. That prick.

  “What?” I asked. “Why? Why are you doing this?”

  “Because you have not proven to me that you deserve it,” he said.

  I laughed. “Oh, I’ve got to hear this. And what do I need to do to prove to you that I deserve the inheritance that is rightfully mine?”

  “Rightfully yours? That’s part of the problem. You are so entitled. You get money from me every single month and you do nothing to earn it. I earned every penny. You on the other hand were born into it. You just do what you want all the time. You contribute nothing to the family or the business I built.”

  “So, this is all because I don’t want to run the business?” I asked.

  “No. That’s just a small part. The biggest part is that I see how you are ruining your life being some playboy. You are not a child. You are nearing thirty. It’s time for you to grow up. When was the last time you had an actual, solid relationship with a woman? You think it’s fun to be some ladies’ man type your whole life? It might be fun to do when you are twenty-one, but by the time you are forty and you are alone you will start to realize how much time you’ve wasted. All the great women even close to your age are married with kids by this time. And you are alone chasing whoever will have you- and relying on the money to keep you warm at night.”

  “What business is it of yours?” I asked. “Why do you care about my relationship status?”

  “Because you are my son. And I love you. I don’t want to see you making mistakes like that. I want to see you having a real life. You should have a wife, and some kids. That at least would show me that you are responsible enough to not squander the money away if I did leave it to you. So, that is what I’m proposing to you.”

  “What? I didn’t catch that. All I heard was bullshit.”

  “Well, if you would take your head out of your ass long enough to listen then you might learn something.”

  I laughed. “Wow, this is rich. I’m so close to leaving right now.”

  “If you do then you will never get another cent from me. There is a way for you to claim the inheritance.”

  Now I was curious. “What do you mean?” I asked.

  “I’m going to make you an offer. If you get married and have a child within three years, then I will include you in the will. I’ll leave you the bulk of the company left over after your mother’s share. If you do that and give up these playboy antics, I will gladly include you. Otherwise, I will have no choice but to disinherit you. I’m not leaving this in the hands of some fuckup who can’t grow up and run his own life. That’s what this is about.”

  I thought about what he said as I sat there. I was watching his expressions, his eyes, his hand gestures and I was filled with the urge to beat him senseless. But I let it pass. That would not solve anything. To get the money that was rightfully mine, I would have to be married with a child? That was the most preposterous thing I’d ever heard of.

  I was so mad I was gritting my teeth. This prick was going to tell me how to run my life? He really thought he could do that? That motherfucker. I wanted so badly to just gouge his eyes out with my fingers.

  I sat there and said nothing for a good minute, appearing deep in thought. My fists were clenched so tightly, it took all of my self-control to keep from punching his lights out, but eventually I came out of it.

  “So, I have to get married and have a child within three years?” I asked.

  “That’s right.”

  “Fine. Anything else?”

  “No. That’s it.”

  “Ok,” I said. “Is that all you had to say?”

  “Yes,” he replied.

  “Good. I’ve lost my appetite.”

  I got up and left the restaurant.

  I could not believe how absurd my father was being. Who was he to tell me that I had to be married to collect what was rightfully mine by birth? My hands slammed against the steering wheel as I drove. I was so angry. I wanted to turn the car around and go back there and smash his head in. I’d never felt so enraged in my entire life. I shouldn’t have been behind the wheel, but I made it home in one piece.

  Once inside, I poured myself a whiskey and sat down to think. I just had to cool off. What was I going to do? I didn�
��t want to be married. I’d said that to myself so many times over the years that it had become an actual mantra. I would not get married. But now I had no choice.

  And I also needed a child to be on the way at least by then. Wow, this was rushing things. Shit. “What the hell am I going to do?”

  I finished the drink and poured me another. As I sat back down with the drink, my phone buzzed. It was a text from Kat. “Hey, just wanted to let you know what a wonderful time I had last night. I hope we can do it again very soon.”

  Yes. She’d texted me. And she wanted to see me again. I had not reached out to her all day. I’d kept myself busy with other things and I’d almost put her out of my mind by this time, but it was so good to hear from her. I needed that comfort right now.

  I texted her back. “Hey, just got back from dinner with my father. Great times lol”.

  That was when the idea hit me. What about Kat? Yes… that could work…

  What if we got married soon and then had a kid together? That was crazy, right? Yes, it was, but I could offer her some of the money. I could give her a substantial payment. And as far as having a child, I thought she might be a great mother. The kid could be cared for by a nanny or left with my parents’ staff a good portion of the day when we were both working, but with that type of money, Kat wouldn’t even need to work. She could quit that soul crushing job of hers and just work on making her dreams come true. Hell, she could buy her own softball team.

  That would be perfect. I had to ask her. But what would she say? I imagined she would have to think it over, a lot. Or the whole thing might be so bizarre that she’d say no right away and never want to see me again.

  I couldn’t bear to think of that happening. I was really starting to have strong feelings for her. I couldn’t imagine what I would feel like if I proposed something this silly to her and she told me to get lost. No… I would have to approach this delicately.

  I supposed I could have called up one of my exes and asked them, but I didn’t have enough of a connection with any of them to think that I could convincingly pull this off with any sort of believability. My father was shrewd. He would see right through all of that.

  I would have to ask Kat. She was my only option, but I would have to go slowly and explain everything to her in person. That was the only way to do it. And it was going to be a big decision.

  Chapter Twelve

  Kat

  “I told you that was going to happen,” Kayley said before spooning a big bowl of oatmeal with peanut butter into her mouth.

  We were sitting in the kitchen chatting about my date the night before. It was dinner and neither of us felt like cooking, so we just kind of improvised something to eat. I warmed up some hot dogs in the microwave and Kayley went with her favorite breakfast. It was a bizarre sounding combo, but the oatmeal with the peanut butter actually was one of my favorite foods now. I’d been skeptical to try at first, but I’d come around to it. The thing tasted like a big bowl of no bake cookies. It was amazing.

  “I know you did,” I said. “Congratulations. You have mystical powers now.”

  “Girl, I’ve always had mystical powers. I’ve been trying to convince you of it for a long time. Yet, you keep ignoring my skills.”

  I pretended to rain down worship on her and waved my hands in surrender to her amazing powers.

  “Ok, I get it,” I said. “But yes, the night with Lance was perfection. I could not ever have imagined anything else.”

  “Great. When are you going to see him again?” she asked.

  “Umm… I’m not sure…”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Well, he said something that kind of freaked me out after we had sex.”

  “What?”

  “He said that this feels right somehow…”

  “Ok… what’s so weird about that?”

  “Don’t you see? He might think that we are meant to be or something. I can’t handle that right now. I… I just can’t… I told him point blank that I wasn’t looking for anything serious.”

  “Yeah, but you also said you weren’t looking for anything that was casual. Then you end up having awesome sex. I can see where he might be a bit confused on what changed and what this thing you got going on might mean.”

  “I know. I’m just worried that this is going to turn into something.”

  “Well, what do you want to come of it?”

  “I don’t know. That’s the problem.”

  “If you don’t know, then how do you expect him to know?”

  I laughed. “You’re right I suppose.”

  “Naturally.”

  “I kind of left in a hurry this morning and I haven’t contacted him all day.”

  “Well, send him a message. At least it lets him know that you are not mad about anything. Everything is fine and you are still interested. Right?”

  “Yes. I hate to admit it, but I really do like this guy. There is just something about him that speaks to me in a way that a man never has before. That’s kind of scary to care so much about someone you don’t really know that well.”

  “I get it, but you have to let it go and just trust your feelings and instincts.”

  “I guess you’re right.”

  I sent Lance a text telling him how much I enjoyed last night and that I couldn’t wait to see him again.

  He replied a moment later about finishing dinner with his dad.

  “Oh, that sucks,” I said.

  “What? What did he say?” Kayley asked.

  I told her all about Lance and his rocky relationship with his father. “Oh, that blows. Well, maybe you need to go over there and check on him. You know? Just to make sure he is…ok…”

  Kayley giggled as I slapped her playfully on the arm.

  “You are too much,” I said.

  “Oh, I think I’m just enough.”

  “I could go over there, but I don’t want to seem too eager. Besides, he might not be in the mood for company right now. And if he wanted me to come over then he would have invited me, right?”

  “Maybe, but you can always take the initiative as well.”

  “I know,” I said. “But for now, I’ll let him be.”

  A moment later my phone buzzed. It was Lance with another message. “Hey, let’s get together tomorrow night at my place. Dinner, maybe watch a movie on television. A quiet, relaxing evening in. How does that sound?”

  I smiled. “I’d like that idea a lot,” I replied back.

  I told Kayley and she grinned ear to ear. “Oh, you are going to get it on again. I’m surprised you don’t need more time to rest. How big did you say he was…?”

  “I never should have told you that,” I said.

  “Well, it sounds bigger than either one of us have ever had. That is significant. That’s like porn star big. Most of us never get with a guy like that. And its funny how guys lie about that stuff. Did you ever measure a guy?”

  I could not believe what I was hearing. “What are you talking about? That’s… wow… you’ve done that?”

  “Sure. A guy I dated once said he was nine inches. I told him I didn’t believe it after I’d seen it. He told me to measure. So, I did. It was only six and a half. He tried to say he was nervous and that he wasn’t fully hard. That was bullshit. He was hard as a rock. I played with it a good bit before measuring.”

  I was laughing hysterically now. This was some twisted shit Kayley was going on about. She did that sometimes. She would randomly start telling me something about some strange sexual thing she’d experienced or experimented with. Like the time she held little marbles in her pussy all day long while she was at work. It was supposed to strengthen the muscles down there or something. But she said it was very uncomfortable. I could only imagine.

  But that was Kayley for you.

  “I’m not going to measure him, if that is what you are going for.”

  “What? Why the hell not?”

  “Because that is so weird,” I said.

&nbs
p; “I bet he would enjoy it. And it doesn’t sound like he has anything to worry about, now does it?”

  I sighed. “I can’t win with you. I doubt that will happen. But I am very excited about our date. We are just staying in. I guess he is going to cook food and we will watch movies.”

  “Oh, I doubt you will make it through the first movie.”

  I had to agree with her. We would probably barely make it through dinner. “Maybe we will start with a sexual appetizer,” I giggled.

  “That’s what I like to hear,” Kayley replied.

  “You are a bad influence one me.”

  “Yeah, but it feels so good to be bad, doesn’t it?” she asked.

  I finished my food and then we went into the living room and sat together on the couch. “So, how was your day at work? That bitch giving you any more trouble?” Kayley asked me.

  “Yeah, a little bit. I’ve been looking for another job. I’m actually getting out there and trying to apply to other places. I’m hunting high and low to get a job.”

  “That’s good. You will get out of that hell hole before you know it. Hey, maybe Lance will marry you and you will have access to all that money.”

  “No. I would never marry a guy for money.”

  “I’m not saying you should, but if you fall in love with someone, it can’t hurt for them to be rich.”

  “True,” I said. “But I almost feel like money would keep me from falling for them. I would always have to ask myself whether I was really with them for them or if the money was a factor. Like, I’m not sure I could trust my own feelings around them.”

  “Well, at least you can say you’ve already had sex with a man who has more money than all the men I’ve been with combined.”

  We shared a laugh. This was getting too weird, even for me. But Kayley was making some valid points. She was one of the goofiest, but also one of the smartest people I knew.